Gentle Lion’s fans,

First, by happenstance, I only saw the last quarter of the game while eating dinner in a sports bar restaurant. What a way to generate severe gastrointestinal distress.

As we stumble into our 63 year of rebuilding intertwined with all the ‘PC’ ‘BS’, I’ve taken the liberty of posting a new a long overdue ‘Help Wanted Job posting’.

IMMEDIATE OPENING FOR HEAD COACHING JOB AT MAJOR LEAGUE SPORTS TEAM!!

Applicant must have basic logic skills to understand that the only score that counts is after the game clock has expired. In addition, belief that “Prevent-defense ” schemes do not automatically hinder opponents scoring ability. Comprehend that play calling consists of more than ‘twice up the middle followed by an incomplete-pass and punt the ball’

Coaching skills must adhere to fundamentals such as , catching the ball when it is thrown in your direction, blocking the big guy trying to dismember your quarterback team mate, running to ‘daylight’ vs straight into the big piles of bodies in the middle of the the field, crossing the line of scrimmage AFTER the ball is hiked by the opposing team, and ‘Hot Dogging Displays’ after a play is for little kids playing at the school yard.

Expectations of your initial success are extremely low because of 63 years of prior dismal, historical disappointment. Please forward in a maximum of 30 word or less of how you think a ‘winner’ should perform. Direct your correspondence to Martha Firestone Ford P.O Box Beleaguered Fans, Detroit, Michigan.